Shame On Me!

It just dawned on me, reading a friends’ blog, how truly blessed I am, whether I feel it or not.

Who do I think I am? I have been wallowing in self-pity, become totally frustrated with my life feeling stagnant, and constantly wondering if it’s ever going to get any better. What gives me that right? Nothing!

My life isn’t so bad…I have 4 beautiful children who are healthy, and fairly happy. I am in decent health and am still breathing. I am nearly homeless, but not totally homeless. I may not be able to give my children a grand Christmas celebration, but I CAN make it a happy and warm one. I may not have room for a large Christmas tree, but can find room for a little one (like Charlie Brown).

I have managed to lose sight of what is truly important, and I am ashamed of myself for that. I used to see the “glass half-full” all the time, and I used to smile no matter what. Shame on me! I have become a depressed, lonely, and very sad woman. Shame on me! I have to shake of this little pity-party I have been having, by myself, for myself, and wake up. I have to participate in my life. How can I possibly expect things to get better if I just allow life to happen TO me? I have turn things around and start making life happen FOR me.

I am supposed to be the “Leading Lady” in my life, and at this point, I have failed at even a small, supporting roll. Life has been just going by…wreaking havoc, and I haven’t bothered to do a darn thing to stop it. All I have managed to do is cry and seek sympathy and beg others to change it for me. What a fool!

I am not ignorant. I am not uneducated. I am not incapable. I am not inexperienced at living life. So, today, I am going to reclaim myself, and take responsibility for my own life. I am smart! I am educated! I am capable! I am a good mom! I am a beautiful woman! I WILL make it! On my own, one step at a time…I am woman, hear me roar!!!