One of the Major Causes of Infertility

PCOS..."Polycystic Ovary Syndrome" affects about 1 out of every 10 women. It can actually strike as young as 11 years old. The cause is unknown, but it is suspected that there could be a genetic tie.

It can affect a woman's menstrual cycle, hormones, heart health, blood vessels and general appearance. It has been linked to diabetes, thyroid disorders and weight gain.

Some of the symptoms include, but are not limited to:

Missed periods

Ovarian cysts

High cholesterol

High blood pressure

Thinning hair

Discolored skin

Skin tags

Anxiety

Depression

Acne

Oily skin

Increased hair growth on face

Women with PCOS may experience some of these symptoms but not all women will experience the same symptoms.

PCOS causes a woman's ovaries to not produce hormones. Without hormones, such as progesterone, a woman's eggs are unable to mature. Instead, the egg can turn into a cyst. The eggs are kept in the follicle. It is the follicle that is filled with liquid to keep the egg safe during maturity. If the hormones are not present that are needed to mature the egg, the follicle just continues to fill with fluid and becomes a cyst. No mature egg means no ovulation, and no ovulation means no period, and if there is no ovulation and no period, you are looking at infertility.

There is no cure for PCOS, but it can be managed. Your doctor will evaluate your symptoms and treat you accordingly.

This is just a brief outline of PCOS and what can go along with it. For more information, ask your doctor. You can also call the National Women's Health Information Center @ 1-800-994-9662.

Other resources include:
American Society for Reproductive Medicine
http://www.asrm.org

Center for Applied Reproductive Science
http://www.ivt-et.com

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome Association, Inc
http://www.pcosupport.org

Good luck and hope that this information was helpful.

Some of the information in this article was provided by http://www.4women.gov/faq/pcos.html

Women and Some of Our Secrets...shhhhhhhh

Women are full of secrets. It is our best defense and our greatest "self-preservation" tool. Keeping secrets does not mean that we lie, it just means that we hide. In the movie "Titanic", there is a line that sums it up, perfectly..."a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets". There are just some things that are better left unsaid.

One of the biggest secrets, kept by women, is "that one love we just can't let go". Chances are that woman you are interested in pursuing has one person, still in her heart, that she will, subconsciously, be comparing you to. It's not a conscious effort. Unfortunately, for you, it just seems to happen. It does not mean that she isn't able to love you, it just means that she will probably be looking for how that felt. It's the same as that "first high".

Women tend to be pro's at pushing their true feelings aside. For example, if you have friends, who are women, chances are that at least one of them have feelings, beyond friendship, for you. For women who feel this way, they are able to set those feelings aside, because for them, being your friend is better than nothing.

In today's society, most women tend to come with a lot of "baggage". Children, ex-husbands, etc.. Don't think, for one minute, that women aren't aware of how men feel about that. Women, too, have some issues with their own "baggage". Try to be empathetic. The last thing any woman wants, is to have her "baggage" get in the way of what could be a really great relationship.

Women NEED to be heard. Granted, some women have a very difficult time communicating in a way that even makes you want to listen. A lot of the time, women tend to use too many words, use words that puts the man on the defense, and never seem to know when to be quiet. They still need to be HEARD. Sometimes, women have lousy timing. It's not done on purpose, they really don't mean to bother you during the "big game". They just have something that needs to be said, and if it's not said NOW, it may not get said at all. Women like to feel that they are important. Really hearing them helps that.

Women love to be romanced. Women read romance novels to see how it's done, and end up wishing with all their might, that their man would do things like that. I suggest finding one of her novels and give it a good read. You may be able to find some really good pointers there.

Cuddling. Women like being held, and cuddled, especially after making love. The reason for this is very simple. It keeps them from feeling cheap and/or used. When a man rolls away, after sex, the woman will typically lay there thinking something like "OK, maybe I should ask him where he left the money" or "well, that was fun, not. What should I do now?". For most women, love-making involves more "giving" than taking, and we want to know that you are grateful. Whether men believe this or not, love-making actually involves sacrifice for the woman. More women fake orgasm because they want the man to believe he is a great lover. Most women would never admit that. Men have to understand that. Knowing that her man is satisfied is a great pleasure for a woman, and when you just roll away, or get up to go watch the game, whatever, it takes away from the pleasure for the woman. She will feel cheap, used, unappreciated, and you may end up paying for it later.

I could go on and on, but I can't give it all away. I hope this article brings you some insight, and helps you to improve your relationship. Please remember this, it is the little things that count that most.

Triplets!!!

Have you ever wondered what a woman, carrying triplets, might look like? Well, this is me, the day I delivered triplets, as a surrogate mother, back in February of 2000.

This was taken about 20 minutes before they were delivered. There were 2 girls, and 1 boy. The boy was the biggest, weighing in at 6lbs 8oz, the girls each weighed 5lbs 5oz and 5lbs 6oz. There was a lot of baby!

This was the second set of triplets I carried. The first set was all girls and they were delivered in January 1998. They were much smaller than this second set, the largest being 4lbs 4oz. The first set was delivered at 34 weeks gestation and the second set was delivered at 361/2 weeks gestation.

I was living is San Diego, CA during my surrogate days and both sets were delivered at Sharp Mary Birch Hospital For Women and both sets were delivered by an awesome obstetrician, Dr. Gary Blake. He was very attentive, and had a wonderful bedside manner. I would not have delivered these babies with any other physician.

This particular day was actually very stressful. I had a nurse who came to my home about 3 times a week to do fetal non-stress tests to make sure they were all doing okay. This day, she told me that she wanted to send me to the hospital so they could monitor things, because her equipment wasn't working correctly. So, I go to the hospital, expecting to just be monitored for a few hours and the nurse in the E.R. department informed me that I did not need to be monitored, I needed to deliver these babies. I was in labor, contracting every 2 minutes! The nurse at my home lied to me, because she didn't want me to panic. I was very upset about the whole situation, because it was not like I hadn't done all of this before. Unfortunately, I was not aware of the fact that I was in labor. I was not feeling any contractions and had no idea. It was very different than any of my other pregnancies and I was terribly offended that I had been deceived.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this photo and a little bit of my own story with you and hope that it will help bring a better light to surrogacy, as a whole. I will write more later...Charlie

Just Some Random Thoughts

Today is Friday and the weather is horrible. Freezing rain and it's very, very cold out. I am going stir crazy and so are the boys. Being 2 and 3 they have a hard time understanding why they cannot go outside to play. So, needless to say...they are terrorizing the whole house. It is amazing how loud they can be :) I took some pictures of them so I could show them off here, but I can't seem to get them uploaded to the computer. I will figure it out and get them up soon. Michael, my 3 year old, loves to be upside down. I haven't figured out why, but he just loves it. His little brother, John, tries very hard, to keep up with Michael and follows him everywhere. Watching him try to go upside down has been very entertaining.
I have been thinking about trying to get them enrolled in a daycare or something, but I have to wait until my new job starts, which I am very excited about. However, there are things in my life that may prevent me from staying with this job and that both worries and saddens me. I've waited a long time for an opportunity like this, for my career, and yet, I have waited even longer for the opportunities that are presenting themselves in my personal life. It is a hard thing to try to deal with and I keep wondering why I can't ever seem to get the things I want at the same time, and the same place.
Anyway, just thought I would ramble on for a bit. If there is anything you would like to see here or a particular topic you would like to discuss, just let me know. I really would like to have my readers participate...Thanks for listening...Charlie

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have you ever really loved a woman-bryan adams

Every Man Should Have To Hear This...

Having Sex vs. Making Love

This title can actually go two ways and I am going to go out on a slightly different path.
Having sex vs. making love. We all know, especially us women, that there IS a difference. Sometimes though, men just want a quick "roll in the hay" and in all honesty, some of us women do, too.
Making love can be truly magical. Partners take their time with eachother and enjoy every touch, look, sigh, moan and giggle. Foreplay starts early in the day, and by the time they are both ready, usually at night, after the kids are asleep, the dishes are done, the bills are paid, etc... they can hardly stand it. Kisses are deep and sensual and the play continues until it just peaks, making your toes curl, and someone is begging for the finale. Making love can take hours and let's face it, sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day.
Men and women, both, get into moods where they just need a little "action". There have been times when I have had a really stressful day and have told a friend that "I just need to get laid", and I am sure that I am not the only female to have ever felt that way. So when your man is in one of those moods, indulge him and, hopefully, when the tables are turned, he will be just as willing to indulge you.
Sex is a great sport. It's one of the best forms of exercise one can do (in my opinion). Finding someone who's libido can keep up with your own is priceless. I think that sex should happen as often as possible and kept spontaneous. I also believe that the more accommodating you can be for "just sex" the more "love-making" you will receive.

Just Some Thoughts on Dreaming....

Well, first, let me start by saying that I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day.
I was just reading another blog, and it was talking about dreams. Not the ones we have while we are sleeping, but the ones we hang on to about our life and our goals. It's a very good post and you should read it. A very dear friend of mine wrote it and he makes some very good points. I promise that you WILL enjoy it.
I wanted to elaborate a bit on where he started and take things out on my own tangent. I have had a lot of dreams for my life and although many of them have never come to forwishen, I still hold them in my heart.
The only one that has become a reality for me is becoming a mother. When I was a little girl, I knew that I was going to grow up, get married to a wonderful man and be the best mommy. Well, my marriage(s) fell apart, but I still have my kids and they mean the world to me.
I'm not a perfect mother, by any means, but I work hard to make sure that my kids are happy and that they know how much they are loved.
I have fought depression for years, and sometimes...well, sometimes, I just don't want to be "mommy" any more. Please don't get me wrong. I love my children. It's just that sometimes, I get to a point where I am just exhausted and really don't know how much more I can take. My oldest is 17 and my youngest is 2. I really have just about had enough of changing diapers, fighting bedtime, never being able to sleep in and other stuff. I know I sound like I am whining and ungrateful, but am I really the only mother that has ever felt that way?
My dream of being a mother included all of the usual things that we picture. What it did not include doing it all, alone, every day. I know that there are lots of single moms out there and I do not want to make this sound like I am having a pity party...I'm just tired...
So, now my dreams have changed a bit. I dream of my children being grown and happy and successful and for myself, I dream of finding a wonderful man to share my life with. Someone who loves me just as I am and will be there when I need a shoulder. He will be warm, compassionate and love me better than I ever thought possible. He will enjoy walking around a lake with me, he won't mind cooking or laundry, and he will tell me how much he loves me, everyday. He will love my family and I will love his. Our pasts will be understood and accepted and our future will be...together.
My children are going to grow up and leave me someday. I don't want to end up alone when they are gone. Maybe someday, this simple dream of mine, will come true. Thanks for listening, Charlie

For All Women, Everywhere

Questions To Ask When Considering Surrogacy

I WAS a surrogate mother and let me just say that it was the most incredible experience of my life. Giving birth to my own children was incredible, but helping that dream come true for another couple was absolutely priceless.
Whether you are considering using a surrogate or considering becoming a surrogate, there are many questions that need to be considered and answered. For the purpose of this article I am going to focus on "becoming a surrogate" because this I actually know about.
The first, and most important question that should be answered is "Do I want to use an agency or do I want to do it independently?". As a former surrogate, I chose to go through an agency. The agency served as my pathway for success and took care of many issues for both myself and the intended parents.
Next, you need to ask yourself "What kind of people do I want to help become parents?" This can be a tough question because we all know of at least one person that we have at least thought "He/She should have NEVER been allowed to become a parent". Do you want to know that the mother will be a "stay at home" mom, do you care if they are jet setters and will have nannies raising their child(ren)? This is a question that should be thought about deeply and you need to remember this...It is not just about what is important to intended parents when they are choosing a surrogate, but what is important for a surrogate when choosing intended parents.
Compensation is also a HUGE issue. First you need to check with the laws in your state regarding surrogacy. In some states it is actually illegal to be a surrogate. In some states it is illegal to be compensated for being a surrogate. Those states will, however, allow one to be a "Compassionate Surrogate" which of course means that there is no money exchanged. If your state allows surrogacy, then you have decide just how much you think the service is worth. Keep in mind that you are not going to be getting paid for having a baby, but for the use of your uterus. Baby selling is illegal. How much is your uterus worth? Again, having an agency behind you will help with this issue.
Next, you need to find an attorney that practices surrogacy laws. Find a good one. Many surrogate agencies are able to recommend someone. Your attorney can make or break the whole experience for you.
Another question you MUST ask yourself is, "Will I use my own eggs or not?". As a surrogate mother I chose to be a "gestational" surrogate, which means I carried only. The eggs belonged to the mothers and that was the best choice for me. As a word of caution, let me just say that using your own eggs, as a surrogate, opens too many doors that really need to stay closed.
"Will I really be able to hand this child over to it's parents?". That is a tough question. Going through an agency helped me tremendously with this one. The agency required psychological screenings and mandatory sessions with a psychologist. The screening took months, but in the end it was worth it because I knew that I could do it and would be good at it. Consider this question patiently.
"What kind of relationship do I want to have with the parents after it is all said and done?". Some continue to remain friends, some do not. I am still in touch with one couple, but not the other one. They send me pictures and letters and we are very much still friends. It is nice. The other couple and I just never really clicked like the first couple and I did and that is okay. It's all good.
There are a myriad more questions one needs to ask before becoming a surrogate but this article would go on forever. I feel that the questions I gave you to start with are the most important and suggest that before you make a decision you at least consult with someone from an agency. You need to keep yourself protected and be prepared. Surrogacy is a wonderful alternative for many infertile couples and it takes a special woman to even have the desire to want to be surrogate mother. Get answers, get educated, then get going...hundreds of couples are waiting, just for you.

John Lennon - Woman

For All Women, Everywhere...

Early, Early Mornings...

Just when you think you might get to sleep in a little bit...in comes your toddler. Morning, mommy!!!! You can't help but smile at that precious little face, but your mind is screaming to heaven, "can't I have just one more hour?!"
I have tried everything to get past the 5:30-6:00am mark, but nothing is working! I've kept the little ones up later and that just backfires...they end up waking even earlier! Baths just make them hype up a bit, so they are done earlier in the day. I've thought about Nyquil, but decided against it. (that was totally just a "funny"). Anyway...if any one has any suggestions, I sure would like to hear them. Thank you!

Learning Experience.....

Crisis!

Ok, so I have a question. When does wanting to make life better, for you and your children, become selfish? AND who has the right to judge you for it? What on earth gives anyone the right to tell you that you are wrong?
I am asking, because I just made a huge move and my family, well mother, is trying to make me feel very guilty.
I have a great opportunity to make my life better and she wants to make me feel like I have abandoned my daughter. She is getting ready to graduate highschool and I have EVERY intention of being there for her, but I am being accused of abandoning her and I don't like it.
Is it really wrong for me to want more for myself?
Is it really wrong for me to try to plan for my future...when there are no more children to take care of?
Just needed to vent and would appreciate any suggestions.....

I AM the Mommy..

I have been a mother for almost 18 years now and I can honestly tell you that there are times that I wish I wasn't. Being "the mommy" has been my greatest achievement and my toughest challenge. I have four, beautiful children. My daughter, Samantha, is almost 18 and then I have three boys; Matthew 12, Michael 31/2 and Johnathan 2. I will forever be "the mommy" and I am exhausted.
I started this blog for mothers everywhere. I want to fill it with advice, problem solving, encouragement and everything else mothers need and can't seem to find. I welcome any comments and hope to make lots of friends here.
Please join me in making this a small sanctuary in this crazy world...Charlie