Crisis!

Ok, so I have a question. When does wanting to make life better, for you and your children, become selfish? AND who has the right to judge you for it? What on earth gives anyone the right to tell you that you are wrong?
I am asking, because I just made a huge move and my family, well mother, is trying to make me feel very guilty.
I have a great opportunity to make my life better and she wants to make me feel like I have abandoned my daughter. She is getting ready to graduate highschool and I have EVERY intention of being there for her, but I am being accused of abandoning her and I don't like it.
Is it really wrong for me to want more for myself?
Is it really wrong for me to try to plan for my future...when there are no more children to take care of?
Just needed to vent and would appreciate any suggestions.....